One of the scariest things happened when I looked into the mirror last weekend: I thought it is really cool to be in my thirties. I am glad I am not in my teens or twenties anymore, I am glad I am independent, grown-up, and look my age. There, I’ve said it. Of course it is always easier admitting this on my birthday, but seriously, I am happy to turn 32 today. I have spent years trying to celebrate my 23th or 27th birthday several times. When I actually know that it’s awesome not to be 23 anymore – when I was still at university, lived in a student dorm, and didn’t know what I really wanted in life. Or 27 when I had already been in Istanbul for a year, had aweful neighbors, and just fell in love with the obviously wrong man.

Now at 32 I live in yet another country, I share an apartment, and all of this is good. My cat has survived five years with me. I have got the greatest friends, who are of totally different ages. I haven’t figured everything out, and that’s fine with me. There are sometimes several weeks in a row when I feel very low, and I have learned to accept that this is me. It is also me when I am totally euphoric, and rather dance through life. I know that I suck at reversing into a parking space, but I am not such a bad driver as I sometimes pretend to be. I love watching Game of Thrones, and still look away when the action becomes too thrilling. I am the one who never leaves the house without make-up, who loves all the anti-wrinkle serums and cremes, and who’s closet will never be rather empty. I can run in high heels. And for the first time in a long while I don’t feel like running away, but onwards.

I believe that this new year of my life might become a wonderful one. This is also why I finally celebrate my birthday again. I do not flee from it, I go out with my friends tonight, and have dinner. And I’ll possibly wear this outfit which I wore when I was in New York City during spring break. To me it is very Carrie from “Sex and the City”, and it also consists of my favorite fashion elements: high heels, a striped top, and the color pink. And maybe at 32 I get closer to my personal Mr. Big. Who knows. But the main thing is: I am okay. With me and my life. And that is what counts most.

top & skirt: shein.com
shoes: Nine West

© janavar

Sharing is caring!